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Glory Hole Days
You Ask We Advise
by Neal Boulton

Glory HolesIn a poll of 8,531 BastardLife readers 67% of you said you preferred glory hole sex in a video arcade booth over bathhouse sex. "The baths always seem like a great idea when I'm about to explode because I can rent a room, check out some porn, shower, steam; but in the end, the tense cruising and lack of action ain't worth the 25 bucks," Mick from Siesta Key told us. Sean from Port Charlotte added, "With a glory hole in a video arcade booth you can suck and be sucked, or more, for a buck or two et Voila—your rocks are off and you're back on your merry way." 21% of you said the Bathhouse was better. "Sometimes I just like being around a bunch of men for a few hours in a bath towel—even if I don't get off," Steve from Ft. Lauderdale said. A small percentage of you, 12%, agreed with what Mark from Tampa had to say, "What ever happened to bringing someone home from a bar? Or, if that doesn't work—just jerking off before bed!?"

Free at last

She has no idea that you are gay. And hiding behind the mask is crushing you. Now what?

Q: I am gay. (And I have just worked up the nerve to put that in writing for the first time). But my girlfriend has no idea. I am ready to end the lie and come out. But how do I do it without ruining her life? She's my best friend.—Michael C., Orlando, FL.

A: First of all, congratulations. For many men, it takes years of defeat, and psychotherapy, to rise up and come to terms with their truth. Second, there is no way she won't be crushed. But now is the time to go inward, to go deep, and quiet your mind such that you can't hear anything else—not the societal judgment, not the parental (hers or yours) judgment, and not even your own self defeating judgment. You may feel free—but it will all be dashed if you walk out of your front door like a victim on the day you come out.

Key tip: Take the bullets today and share your truth with her, knowing she will be crushed (even if she knew all along). Because she's your best friend, be there for her with education about how you came to know your truth—with no expectations that she'll ever understand. Know that, if you care for her acceptance, it may take a long time for her to come around. But it is imperative that you secede from a past of lies and masks like a colony seceding from a dictatorship—now. You can do it.—N.B.