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Why are so may of us so promiscuous, think we are, or
would like to be? Why can’t we just be happy with that one guy? After
all, no one – not even our egotistical selves – is perfect. But I guess
that’s the problem. We think that that next guy – read dick - in the
bar, on line, at the sex club or bath house or off the plane or at that
next Bearfest inSeattleor
RSVP cruise toGreecewill
be the dick of our wet dreams. Always on the hunt, we are never really
satisfied and so our insatiable search goes on infinitum. Like Bette
Davis once quipped in one of her early films, “I’d let you kiss me, but
I just washed my hair.” What the fuck was she waiting for?
Why are we so obsessed about dick? Maybe it’s because men
and their cocks come in so many shapes and sizes (small, big, thin,
thick, cut, uncut) that the possible Las Vegas slot machine combinations
between the type of guy we’re hardwired for and their dick are endless
and we remain constantly curious to see what IT’s like and what IT will
do for us. And that often means going beyond our usual circles of bars
or local hang outs and out into the world like some sexual explorer,
dropping all that money that could be going into a CD or retirement
account on trips, botox, liposuction or Lumineers or killing ourselves
at the gym, all just to look good when that ultimate dick might be right
next door if we opened our eyes.
But I think deep down inside it isn’t about cock at all
although we may fool ourselves into thinking it is. Because saying it’s
just cock eliminates that other c word: commitment. No, what we’re
really after, what we’re really searching for is an affinity with
another being besides our dog. Someone who will want us not just for, or
in spite of what we do in the bedroom, because of, or in spite all our
shortcomings – and theirs. But because many of us are unrealistic about
what we expect in another person (It’s gotta be the 411 Magazine cover
or no one even if I’m 300 pounds), or becausemaybewe
really don’t want commitment in the first place and prefer just being
run-around Sues the rest of our lives thinking old age happens to other
people, the search goes on. And on. And on. The 10’s are looking for
13’s, the 4’s will only settle for 10’s and the 7’s are ready to go
Q: I was at the Steve Cruz
show at Noche
Latina Fridays a few weeks ago and now I can't get enough of
him. I've spent about $700 on pay per view and bought six movies and
three magazines at Tropixxx Video. What can I do to end this obsession?
A: Get a 60 inch plasma TV and run Stevie’s videos
24/7. Trust me – you’ll be ready for Asian meat in 2 weeks. Plus you’ll
make a lot of new friends who have either been peeping through your
window to see what all that moaning is about or, more likely, ready to
knock down your door to pull your TV off the wall and shove it up your
What do you wear to a porn shoot? After a little consideration, I
went for the “doofus hipster” shirt, black jeans and black Converse. It
seemed appropriate enough for a Burning Angel set. Inexplicably, I
decided to wear a ring. Then I realized I was thinking like I was
dressing for a date. I wanted Joanna Angel to think I was cool.
Freelance journalists end up with lots of contacts, and sometimes you
don’t even know where they came from. Somehow, despite the fact that I’d
never written about the porn industry, I ended up on the list of a PR
guy who represented producers of adult entertainment. When he sent me an
email inviting me to a Burning Angel shoot, I didn’t know what I’d do
with the story, but I quickly accepted... Continued after the Jump,
Flavor Of The Week: The Porn Ultimatum
There Is Still A Civil
Rights Struggle in America.
at 9:31 AM
Every time I think of Proposition 8 I can’t help but think
about the ’70s in San Francisco. Back to the White Night Riots and the
assassination of Harvey Milk. Not just because of the recent major
motion picture, or seeing Dustin Lance Black’s cute ass win an Oscar.
Harvey Milk was kind of big deal well before Mr. Van Sant ever came to
town. Thank Maria for them, though, because mainstream America needs to
see what we’re capable of when we put our minds and our hearts together.
I can’t help but think that they banded together without... continued
after the Jump,
Where's the Outrage?
Fin was only 21 when he first fantasized about it; then, a month
later, he took the leap.
"I read about it in a local listings magazine. I was nervous as hell.
I hardly ever left my sleepy suburb for the city, but on the day I did,
I went into an adult video store, flipped through this zine and, boom,
there was a listing for a sex party," he said in a low voice over the
"Can you hear me?" he asked, "My mom and dad are in the next room,
and I'd be in so much trouble if they overheard me telling you this," he
"I stuffed the free magazine in the inside pocket of my leather
jacket and darted out into the rainy day, then to the subway for the bus
station. On the bus back home, I leaned my head against the window,
hornier than I'd ever been..." Continue reading after the Jump,
Swung, Mob Mentality
Male Swimsuit Model- Tim Robards
at 9:31 AM
of the sexiest male swimsuit models on the planet is probably Tim
Robards. 26-year-old male model Tim
Robards is one of the well-known faces of the
AussieBum swim line. He's done work in commercials as well as
movies. Tim goes to the gym and plays touch football three or four times
per week, as well as running, swimming and surfing. This 6'2"
muscle-bound beach body hunk, is not only a model but personal trainer
as well. More photos and profile after the Jump,
Sexy Male Swimsuit Model- Tim Robards
In Hotel Room With Deny Barrosa
at 9:31 AM
There are lots more photos in this set by South American Photographer
I didn’t think much
about my upcoming encounter with Ponce de Leon’s Fountain of Youth until
the day before my appointment for my procedure when suddenly visions of
all those horror movies from the thirties rushed into my brain. What if
something went wrong and I ended up worst than I started? Shouldn’t I
thank my lucky stars I looked younger than my years and not tempt fate?
No matter what they did, I’d never look 25 again – nor did I want to.
I was ready to whip
out my cell phone and cancel the appointment all the way that morning to
the surgeon but walked into my role as if it were all happening to some
one else. I actually waited in the private room longer than it took to
do the whole procedure which, unlike my collagen episode, was performed
by a real live plastic surgeon, a pleasant sort of a guy, very patient
and understanding, explaining every step of the way as he poked at my
face. How with men, killing too much brow line looks ridiculous, so only
half strength Botox was used there. After that, he moved on with the
Juvaderm for those sags. .Just a few pinches and it was over.
Both my consultant
and the doctor explained that the Botox would take a few days to show
its full effect, but that the results of the Juvaderm were immediate. So
was the slight bruising and swelling on my face from all that prodding
which took a good week to disappear. (Thank God for large framed
glasses.) But I have to admit I was pleased with the results the moment
I walked into the bathroom at home and stared at myself coldly for the
first time since leaving the surgeon. I had fought off looking into the
rear view mirror the whole way. Those fine lines were almost gone and my
eyes definitely looked refreshed and without all that “Sudden Change” I
had been using by the quart the last few years.
Since I don’t know
many people in Lauderdale well (even after living here 6 years, but
that’s material for another blog), there was no one to give me some
indication that all this had been worth it. Nor was I snaring any better
quality tricks than I had had before my little procedure. No, the
validation of sorts came a few months later when I flew back to New York
for my nephew’s wedding, and my sister, five years my junior, upon
seeing me for the first time in almost a year, exclaimed, “Shit you
don’t look a day over 50!”
wrote to you last month about the buffet
in bed and now I have another question,
it's kind of messy. Do you know where we
can get sheets that will clean easy? I
don't want to sleep on rubber sheets for
the rest of my life.
A: Fuck your
traditional mattress – just move your lovemaking from the bedroom to the
garage or better yet here in Florida to your outdoor patio and get one
of those inflatable beds you can hose down afterwards. Or move it into
the bathroom and use the inflatable for the main event after you’ve had
your foreplay in the tub. Even better, buy a used refrigerator, lay it
on its back and eat your stuff fresh!
Sasha Grey is not your typical porn star—not that there's anything
wrong with that most adult of trades. She's a Godard buff. She says
crazy stuff during sex scenes to mess with her co-stars. And she's got
the lead role in Steven Soderbergh's new film The Girlfriend
Experience, a verité-style portrait of an upscale Manhattan call
A couple years ago, you
caused a bit of a stir when
you appeared on "The Tyra
Banks Show." She told you
that you needed to do some
Interview sat down with the 22-year-old California native to discuss
her generation of adult-film actresses (not all victims, not all idiots)
and why she'd like porn to look more like the movies that play at
Cannes. Continued after the Jump,
That Grey Lady
If you have not seen the new Star Trek movie yet, all I have to say
is, what are you waiting for?? If not for the amazing and brilliant
writing, or edge of your seat special effects, go see it for the super
sexy space hunk Chris Pine! Many of you have probably not heard of Chris
before, but for those of you who already know him, you know that he is
one great actor, who just happens to be jaw-droppingly sexy. LOts more
photos after the Jump,
Super Sexy Chris Pine is out of this world!
Real Housewives of New
York Reunion Animated Spoof
Posted 5/22/2009 at
Birth Control, and the Difference between Theory and Practice
So how effective — really — is abstinence as a birth control method?
Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin’s famously “unmarried and pregnant at 17
and an unmarried mother at 18″ daughter, recently went on a tour of the
TV talk shows,
advocating — in an irony so massive I feel puny standing next to it
— abstinence for teenagers.
And one of the arguments she made — with her baby on her lap — was
that abstinence is the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy.
Now, if Bristol Palin, or anyone else, had gone on the TV talk show
circuit arguing that, say, birth control pills were the only 100%
effective way to prevent pregnancy — and they’d done so with their
unplanned baby on their lap — they’d have been laughed off the stage.
But people tend to see abstinence as... Continue reading after the Jump,
Abstinence, Birth Control, and the Difference between Theory and
No bullshit. I’m
taken for ten, fifteen years younger than my driver’s license tells me
so, even by people I’ve known for years, and I ain’t complaining. I
didn’t over-party in my twenties and thirties, or do drugs (give me a
strong drink over a joint any day), and I guess a good gene pool was
also on my side. When my very happily married sister had her first baby
at 25, the nurses in the hospital mistook her for an unwed teenage
I wish I had all my predecessors’ good fortune like my grandmother on my
dad’s side who had three gray hairs in her head when she died at 86.
Unfortunately, I’m the first one out there when Walgreen’s or CVS runs a
sale on Just for Men. Funny how all the medium browns are cleaned out
But vanity of
vanities, at 40 I decided to try collagen, then all the rage. Working
for a hospital, I made sure I went to a plastic surgeon NOT affiliated
with my place, but, in the end, the injections were done by some
therapist or second class flunkey. And I was never impressed by the
Fast forward X
years. I no longer work professionally full-time and I still get my
decent share of men, thank you very much. So the only reason I can give
for deciding to give cosmetic surgery another try in these waning days
of my gay career was pure vanity. It wasn’t the buffed, shirtless guy
in their ad in a local gay mag that attracted me as much as the “second
vial of Botox half off.” I had some extra interest income I could use to
pay off one of my credit cards or shoot up my face. I decided on the
The offices just
off the beach were what I expected from as glossy a profession as
plastic surgery. My “consultant,” no spring chicken and proud of all the
work she had had done on herself, stared at my face intently as I
rattled off for her all my petty, childish “needs.” Ah, we’re so honest
with people we’ll never meet again. The fine lines around the eyes, the
deepening crevices on the forehead, the sagging skin under my eyes. I
told her I didn’t want to go under the knife. Could any of these new
injectables I kept hearing about – “juva” this and “refresha” that - do
She was equally
honest – with a smile. She explained that Botox was still the gold
standard and would do wonders for the fine lines and brow. (Funny how
something that could kill you could also make you look young. The James
Dean syndrome I guess.) But there wasn’t much they could do for the bags
(which are fat pockets) under the eyes without surgery, though Juvaderm
could lift everything up and, at least, lessen the sag. All for $1500
after the discount. The price was right (even if the shit only lasts 6
months to a year) and I was pleasantly surprised to hear there was at
least something they could do for those bags. So I scheduled my
appointment for the following Thursday.
This absolute hunk of Brazilian tattooed goodness is Bruno
Spinelli, aka former
Big Brother Brazil Season 9 hopeful Bruno Moraes. The twenty nine
year old lives and works as a personal trainer in Rio de Janeiro. A
soccer and boxing enthusiast, Bruno describes himself as a pretty simple
guy, easy to get along with, communicative and happy. He's certainly
making me happy ...Meet
Big Brother Brazil Contestant Bruno
A Slippery Slope?
Posted 5/17/2009 at
As always, Didio brings it with an amazing set of photos of model
Chase Armitage, Parkour, Free Running and Martial Arts Showreel re
released in HD! For more professional Parkour and free running/Stunt/Acro/Martial
Arts videos subscribe and visit my personal site,
www.chasearmitage.com also more at
With his tattoos, shaved head, and taste for provocation,
Stephen Petronio is like your sexy older punk-rock friend, who’s been
there, done that, and wants you to know it. For 25 years the
choreographer has head-butted the modern dance world with innovative,
dark, manic pieces that are frequently sexual (like 1990’s landmark
Middlesex Gorge, in which the male dancers wore corsets and were
victimized), and his latest piece, I Drink the Air Before Me,
at the Joyce Theater in New York through May 3, is just as charged. A
meditation on environmental tumult, it commemorates the 53-year-old’s
quarter-century of work as head of
his eponymous company (before that he was Trisha Brown’s first male
dancer) and features a live score by
Nico Muhly - performed in part by the Young People’s Chorus of New
York City - and a special costume for Petronio designed by longtime
friend Cindy Sherman. Who else has this ravishing man worked with?
Almost every influencer in music, fashion, and art. I’m humbled (and
turned on)... Continued after the Jump,
Wanda Sykes Skewers
Limbaugh, Bush, the Obama's and Joe Biden
Mavety Media Group
pulled the buttplug on all of their gay magazines—charmingly referred to
as "sophisticates" in old-school publishing parlance. Puns aside, I
wonder if people will notice what a major development this is in
publishing, in gay history and in the porn industry.
The titles affected include
Mandate, Torso, Honcho, Inches
(and all of its ethnic permutations) and
has been continuously published since April of 1975—just over 34 years.
It was published originally by George Mavety, an apparently heterosexual
man (I say "apparently" only because having known him, I wouldn't put
much past him sexually—but his obsession with women is well documented)
who was a former Sunday school teacher. Continued after the Jump,
We have a standing date every Saturday night. I go out for ice cream
with all of the fixings: chocolate sauce, whipped cream, jimmies. Even
those little marinated cherries. Grayson stays home and preps the house
for us. Dims the lights. Puts on the movie. Starts the fire.
But when I get in line tonight, a man steps behind me. I feel him
before I see him, sense his presence out of the corner of my eye. I scan
the conveyer belt to see that he has a six-pack, a steak, and a bottle
“Bachelor’s dinner,” he says motioning to his groceries... Continued
after the Jump,
The guys from Fabscout Entertainment brought
Bang Bang Boy Thiago Santos
to Boardwalk Gay Go-Go Bar and Nightclub
Florida last weekend. Thiago put on a show for a packed house. TO check
out more photos from the event, use this link,
Boardwalk Photo Gallery.
The check out what's going on at Boardwalk this weekend, use this link,
Events at Boardwalk
Jared is another model from Calgary,
Canada that started doing photo shoots just a couple months ago...
as such he's still building up his portfolio. But as you can tell from
these amazing shots, he's apparently chosen a superb photographer to
start out with. These shots were all taken by a young Calgary
photographer named Phil.
Editors note: This is part 2 of this subject commentary. To
read the first part, use this link:
Mindfuckers come in all shapes and sizes on the
web, but there should be a special place in Gay Hell (where you’re
surrounded by Bible Belt Conservatives spouting Leviticus for enternity)
for the Mindfuckers Supremo. Those that show up on schedule for your
destined web-arranged rendezvous, then feign disinterest. Like the one
nerd who promised me the blow job of my life. It was a Tuesday night so,
what the fuck, why not. The red flag should have gone up in my head when
he asked to meet him in the parking lot of a local mall. But I was horny
by now. Even as I drove over, I had visions he’d pull away just as
pulled up. But no, I got out of my SUV, he got of his and we walked in
one another’s direction. He was nerdier than his pix, but a mouth is a
mouth, and after all, it was a Tuesday. I outstretched my hand to shake
his and introduce myself when he said, “Gee I’m sorry - I don’t think
this is going to work out.”
Not Work Out? Huh?
My pix are pretty explicit. I am out there like dog
shit on a sidewalk. And while I may not be God’s gift to Gaydom, I still
turn heads and go to the gym 3X a week. Woody Allen’s younger brother I
There were some suburban shoppers nearby wheeling
their cart of food to their car but I didn’t give a shit. I still went
off like a lunatic.
“You hauled me over and now you’re the one not
interested, you nerdy little queen?”
With that, he ran into his car, locked the door,
and swept away. Lucky for me since in another milli-second I would have
bashed his head against the door, then regretted it. And by the time I
got home, he had blocked me so I couldn’t even tirade into cyberspace.
Then there was the gym-bod hottie who set up a
time, called to say he was on his way, and an hour later was still
online where I left him. My knee jerk reaction was to block him, but I
didn’t and, believe or not, a week later, the same fuck e’s me. “Got
some time later today?” (Yes, this is all true folks!)
Ah, bestowed with one of those golden opportunities
you often don’t get in life, I seized the moment.
“Listen, last week when you said you were on your
way, then never showed, I found you were still online when you were
supposed to be at my place. So after giving you an extra half hour, I
left for the local sex club where I met a hot humpy couple from Toronto
and we fucked the night away. (I actually did meet such a dynamic duo,
only not that night.) So, I guess I have you to thank for that. But
please, I don’t need people who waste my time. Your credibility with me
is in the sewer. In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if that’s even your
pix or are you really some 4’6” horn-rimmed glasses geek.”
His response to me was just two words .I’m sure you
can guess what they were – but those two words spoke volumes. I had
caught him at his own game. Then I blocked the fuck.
The bigger question is what motivates people to
play these games. Are they insecure with their own sexuality? Or are
they so shit on in their real lives and no-nothing jobs – I can see that
buxom boss towering over them at the jewelry counter at Macy’s now –
that this is their only way to exert power over others.
Well, playing amateur psychiatrist ain’t going to
help my sex life, so from now on, if someone says they’re on their way,
they’re not getting my exact street address until I see their car parked
in front of my neighbor’s house. Then let ‘em call me on their cell and
I’ll give ‘em the right address.
After all, 50 mg. of Viagra is a terrible thing to
John Waters, director,
writer, producer and cinematographer of
legendary independent films films
including, Hairspray, Pink Flamingos,
Desperate Living, Female Trouble,
Polyester and Divine takes to the stage
at Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival
and tells the story behind the films and
The story of Channing Tatum seems to reinforce the
validity of the spectacular arc of life in movies.Take, for example, this brief rundown of
essential plot points so far: He is born in a small town
(Cullman, Alabama); he overcomes his early outsider
status to become a popular kid (and even winds up
playing football); he gets into hip-hop dancing
(after seeing a guy do head spins at a local club); he
is discovered on the street (by a modeling agent); he
gets cast in a critically acclaimed independent film (A
Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, 2006); he lands a
part in a big studio film (Step Up, 2006); and
he is tapped for unmitigated superstardom (at least a
lot of people are betting on it). It doesn’t hurt that
Tatum is—and, by all accounts, has always been—very
good-looking. But watching him onscreen, it’s clear that
his face and his good luck aren’t his most important
assets... Continued after the Jump,
Channing Tatum Interviewed
in New York City is like living in a large, crowded yet provocative
classroom where you're constantly learning new things about others and
more importantly--about yourself. These new discoveries can be looked at
as major flaws or in my case, sexy superpowers. Recently, I discovered
that we all have a seduction device--and that, my friend was a discovery
like no other.
I have a friend who's undergoing a 12-month life coach training program and
this past Saturday he invited me to attend a portion of his training where they
discussed the art of seduction.
Sexy hot actor, Steven Hill has just finished filming a guest stars
role as “the hunk” on the upcoming web-episodes of “ Chico 's Angels.”
Hill was on the 12th season of "Real World: Las Vegas ". Hill has also
appeared on "Half & Half", "Passions," and "Drake & Josh"
Chico 's Angels is filming three new web-episodes to premiere this summer in
conjunction with their return to the LA stage with Chico's Angels 2: Love Boat
Chicas. Chico's Angels has been an underground cult hit with their stage version
of the series for the last six years in LA.
You may have heard. During Sunday’s Miss USA pageant openly “gay”
activist and pageant judge Perez Hilton – the self-styled “Queen of
Media” – ambushed Carrie Prejean – the openly Christian Miss California
– with a politically loaded question on so-called “same-sex marriage.”
Prejean’s candid answer – as both Hilton and Miss USA organizer Donald
Trump later admitted – likely cost her the crown.
From the moment she opened her mouth, Prejean has given liberals a clinic in
class. Hilton, on the other hand (a.k.a. Mario Armando Lavandeira), has provided
the world a sneak peek into the soul of homosexual activism... Continued after
the Jump, Perez Hilton: The Foul Face of 'Gay' Activism
Q: I’m married married, yep to a woman. She’s a
wonderful wife and stay-at-home mom to our three beautiful kids, but as I get
older my urges for guys are getting stronger and stronger. Fortunately I have a
few buddies at the gym where we play in the sauna when the coast is clear.
There’s even an occasional web date on the Q.T. But I’m tired of leading this
double life. Should I just tell my wife and get it over with and stop living a
A: Sure, there are a few wives that will understand
and even let you play on the side but, buddy, life isn’t a happy ending Logo
movie and honesty is not always the best policy. Unless you can read your wife,
I wouldn’t say shit. Divorce can be pretty costly particularly if she has no
source of income and when there are kids in the picture. You could be cleaned
out financially in a New York minute and wouldn’t even be able to afford your
gym membership. My advice: keep your secret life just that. Just don’t fall in
love, huh, stupid?
(mind’fuck’er) noun: a gay man who comes on to another,
leads him into believing he’s interested in copulating, then at the last moment,
drops out of sight like he was abducted by aliens. Most prevalent on sex
websites where cyberspace provides the perfect cover.
Naïve, shitty little me. Tired of the chance encounters in
the bars and the baths, and being a logical, pragmatic sort of a guy, I turned
to the sex sites figuring that’s where people were meeting. You post who you are
and like, they post who they are and like and there’s a match-up. Right?
Not exactly. Even though I’ll do a periodic sweep like my
Spyware program of local listings and put out feelers to guys I think could have
a mutual interest, I rarely get any responses. So in the end, you’re left with
the universe of guys who happen to be on when you’re on. No better than the
bars. That’s why after coming from a night out, I’ll check my e-mail to see who
loves me, then go to bed, and, guaranteed, the following morning I’ll have half
a dozen hits, 1:45 am, 2: 10 am, 2:30 am from the “:I want it now boys” –
“wanna fuck?” Or better:
“My back door will be open. The lights will be off. I’ll be
butt naked on my sofa. I want you to come over to me, and without saying a word,
fuck me til you breed me, then I want you to leave.”
Romantic, ain’t it?
But the full trials and tribulations of a cyber sex addict
like me – yea, I admit it - would fill a dozen blogs. What I want to talk about
now are the above defined “mindfuckers.” They come in several varieties. The low
end boys are those who keep sending you those cryptic e-mails, winks or gropes
every so often, and when you ask when they’re interested in connecting, you get
an evasive “cool.” What the fuck is “cool” supposed to mean?
But these minor leaguers are just a bore. The group that
should have their balls cut off in public at some mall – or better yet a leather
bar – are the guys I classify as the Super Mindfuckers. They come on to you big
time, (“You sure you don’t model for Colt?”), you negotiate a date, they even
say they’re on their way and then – they never show. No call. No e-mail. Nothin’
You planned your day, you re-arranged your schedule, you took a shower, you even
popped your $3 tab of Viagra – and they don’t show.
This week’s East Village Boy of the Week is Michael, from Miami.
Photographed for EVB by Robert Clyde Grima. There are lots more photos
of Michael after the Jump, and you can be sure these are NSFW. East Village Boy Michael
You may want to rethink the way you treat your lady. I recently
watched a woman get beaten up in New York City. She was driving, he was
in the passenger seat. Then I read about Rihanna, then, a couple of days
ago I saw her brand spankin' new gun tattoo. Nice.
Guns and women are back. An estimated 11 million to 17 million women in
America own guns now—a number that is definitely on the rise, as more women than
ever are taking up target shooting and hunting and feel the need to bear arms
for better protection against domestic violence and abuse.
The National Rifle Association's target-shooting classes for women "have
been... Continued after the Jump, Go ahead, make her
Gays Should Not
Posted 4/16/2009 at
The Trouble With
SETH MICHAEL DONSKY visits NYC’s last remaining bathhouses to investigate
whether safe sex is still an effective message against HIV.
It's Friday night, and I’m headed to the East Side Club, one of the
last two remaining gay bathhouses in New York City.
Ostensibly a relaxation and social club for gay and bisexual men, it’s
located on two floors of a non-descript office building on East 58th Street. I
take an elevator to the sixth floor and wait behind a thick, Plexiglas window in
a dark cell of a foyer, reminiscent of a vintage, blue movie theater box office.
Posters for events such as the International Mr. Leather Contest, prominently
featuring half-naked men, line the walls.
After a few moments, the manager buzzes me in through a small door. I am
immediately overcome by a smell of chlorine, industrial-strength disinfectant,
locker-room funk and poppers.
A labyrinth of interconnecting dark hallways is lined on either side with
innumerable clapboard rooms. Each room contains a twin-sized cot, a hook for
hanging your clothes and a table with a couple of condoms and a packet of lube.
But whether anyone will be using the provided protection is....
The Idaho Challenge is a community project by Gays.com to produce a
user-generated video to be released 17 May 2009, the International Day Against
Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHO). While 67 countries have signed the new
United Nations statement to decriminalise homosexuality worldwide, anti-gay
discrimination remains a reality in many parts of the world. This year, with
your help, we want to create a video that sends out the message that gays,
lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people are just like everyone else. We
come from all over the world and we come in all shapes and sizes and colours.
And we want to send this message to the people of the world in every language
that's out there!
It's Just Sooo
Posted 4/14/2009 at
Quite frankly we have no idea why it makes sense to include this in Shades of
Gay, but it was just a lovely pick-me-up on an otherwise mundane day. We thought
you might like it too. Oh and thanks to Elaine Lancaster for
us on to it.
In nature, there comes a time when a baby bird, tender and delicate,
must test its wings and learn to fly. The outcome is never known--to us,
the bird, or the sidewalk it crashes and burns into because it "just
wasn't time". Humans have a similar moment; it's called dating. And
although we can dust ourselves off after a bad date and try
again--there have been times we too--crash and burn. Was it chemistry?
Their looks? The food they ordered? No, it was their profession.
In order to save you much time, mascara and heartache, I've compiled a list
of men and their professions you should avoid dating and why. Trust me--"been
there, done that!"
Last weekend, Boardwalk, a Gay stripper bar in
Wilton Manors (the Gay are
of Fort Lauderdale, FL) brought Leo
Giamini to the club for three nights
of shows. We later learned that
there is quite a bit of controversy
surrounding several bareback scenes
Mr. Giamani did working for
CockSureMen. According to RawTop,
"At the end of last year Leo Giamani
posted the following on a different
porn blog: I would also like
everyone to be aware that I have not
done any bareback scenes in over 100
days. [snip] I want everyone to be
aware that I will never do any type
of bareback scene again. I want
everyone to know that I always use
condoms in my personal life. In
addition, I have only performed
bareback sex in videos which were
done with disease free models whose
tests were recent and verified."
Well we're hoping that Leo sticks to his word, as he is definitely one of the
hotter Gay porn stars to show his stuff on the nightclub circuit. You can check
out the photos of that night at Boardwalk
Leo Giamani Photo Gallery. If you
want to see the bareback stuff, you'll have to google it, we don't link to
I was 21 years old that spring of 1979, a year after moving from my
provincial nest in northwest Pennsylvania to the Big Apple in pursuit of
adventure and an acting career. It was the end of the sexual revolution;
a time when sex was still fun and the only apparent danger was the risk
of getting the clap. That same year saw the infancy of Jerry Falwell’s
Moral Majority, which helped bring Ronald Reagan into the White House
and marked the country’s embrace of more traditional values.
Already lit after a few Dewar’s with water at the now-defunct Ninth Circle on
10th Street in the West Village, I hopped a half block east to Waverly Place and
my next bar. Sporting a black AC/DC T-shirt given to me by an executive I was
occasionally screwing, I stepped into Julius’, a gay tavern touted as the oldest
in Manhattan, once frequented by Tennessee Williams and Truman Capote. Although
it also served a decent hamburger, I was hungry for meat that was still
Tossing my mop of dirty blond hair, I scanned the room, hoping to spot
someone interested enough to send me a drink. I leaned against the oak bar and
rested my leg on the foot rail made of brass Bassett hounds, positioning myself
to order, when a handsome older man of about 35 rushed over and offered to buy.
He was wearing a plain T-shirt with the name “Steve” sprawled across his lean
but well-muscled chest. His hair and body reminded me of Keith Carradine in
Nashville. I was so grate ful for the free drink from such a good-looking source
that I hadn’t noticed the girl standing next to him. Continued after the Jump,
Flavor Of The Week: Bisexual Bombshell
The thing that’s striking about Kieran Culkin in person is his
indistinctiveness: He’s smaller, more diffuse, and moreeveryguy than the sharp and damaged characters on which he’s made his
name. In blue jeans and jacket he’s unrecognizable on an East Village
street; in conversation he’s as funny and loquacious as a corner
bartender. Turns out that’s by design, and probably therapeutic: As
ascion of one of Hollywood’s largest and most controversial stage
families, he started film acting at the age of 7, and ever since has
endured tabloid noise about his father’s mismanagement of his older
brother Macaulay’s runaway stardom from the Home Alone films—a
pop-culture juggernaut that threatened to typecast the entire family by
default. Continued after the Jump, Kieran Culkin
Thanksgiving Dinner. In a poll of 5,379 BastardLife readers, 47% of
you told us you loved rimming, citing that you incorporated the tangy
delight into your intimate regimen up to twice a week. 23% of those who
rimmed regularly recommended 69'ing and rimming, allowing both of you to
experience the sensation mutually. 28% of you said you had enjoyed it in
the past, both giving and receiving, but have been finding it hard to
find partners willing to engage in the practice recently. A small 13% of
you said it just wasn't for you. Lots more form Bastard Life after the
Jump, Just a rimminder
Kissed A Boy by Boy Interrupted - Max and Mike
Posted 4/11/2009 at
Two cute guys doin' the Katy Perry song. I want the one with star tattoo.
We've Got A
Crush On Nick Adams
Posted 4/10/2009 at
presents the Crush of the day. Wednesday it was Nick Adams. To view a few more
photos of Nick in various states of dress and undress (we left the best shots of
Nick for you to view after the Jump), use this link, Nick Adams
Q: What produces that magic
moment that pushes a bi-curious guy over the edge and into a same-sex
encounter? I've been in several settings with straight identified guys
where I felt a connection and things might have been headed there—but it
always ends up with nothing happening. Do I need courage to take it
there or are these just near-misses?
A: Common problem. Thing is, it's not
you—it's him. I have closed the deal on many straight identifying men in college
who called me fag in the quad, but get on their knees and blow me—but that was
because it was late and alcohol—and the blood promise that I'd keep their dirty
little secret—played a big role. You and I are all grown up now,... Continued
after the Jump, Closing the deal
East Village Boy
Posted 4/8/2009 at
This week’s East Village Boy of the Week is Joey, from Staten Island (that’s in
NYC)Photographed for EVB by
McKenzie Adkins Lots more photos of Joey after the Jump,
East Village Boy Joey
Adam Lambert Performs
Tears for Fears Mad World
Posted 4/8/2009 at
It's Adam Lambert the world is mad about. This is the best performance on
American Idol ever! Period.
Posted 4/7/2009 at
likes to massage, he helps the user sustain sensation and reach a
new intensity of release. Hygienic, stylish and ready for play, he
is smooth and designed with a ring for full control of the sensual
experience. Use BOB as you wish, whether it be with a partner for
added enjoyment or as a secret companion, worn discreetly. Bob comes
presented in an elegant gift box, accessorized with manual, satin
pouch for stylish storage and a 1-year LELO warranty. More about Bob
after the Jump, Bob from Lelo
Q: I dropped out of high school when I was 17,
ran away from home (Fargo, North Dakota) and now, at 20, I’ve lost
my two jobs in a row as a waiter at gay restaurants here in
Lauderdale. But I’m a good looker, got a hot body, get a lot of
cruises from the customers I’ve served, and figure I can make a
living other ways. Bottom line: what does it take to be a paid
escort? How do I break into the profession?
A: I assume you don’t look like you’ve been on
a perpetual meth orgy for the past six months and that you got a
respectable tool (at least 6 inches), a cell phone, and at least a
bike to get around. If so, follow these simple instructions even a
high school drop-out (duh) can understand:
Buy a cheap digital camera at Walgreens with a
timer on it and take some sexy shots of yourself in a jock,
underwear, you get the picture. Or have a friend with a camera do it
for you in exchange for doing him.
Once you’ve got your pix, place an ad in one of
the gay rags, you know, the ones mixed in with all those “deep
tissue masseurs.” It will cost you but until you get word of mouth
clientele or repeat business, it’s the only way to make the world
know you’re open for business. Think of the ad as your business
card. If the room you rent smells of urine and McDonald’s wrappers,
specific “out only;” otherwise get out the Lysol. Some guys prefer
not taking young boys like you who might hit them over the head for
their money back to their places. Then your ad should read “In and
Now I’m not condoning prostitution here but say
that guy from Iowa City you’ve “escorted” out for dinner suddenly
falls in love with you and you with him and the two of you would
like to consummate your relationship (Sure.) If you’re a top,
reprogram yourself now. Butt plugs and dildos at the local porn shop
can be great training tools. If you’re a bottom, start fucking a few
freebies to practice positions. Bottom line, you need to be
“versatile.” Unless, of course, you’ve got a tool down to the floor.
After all, you’re young enough to get it up no matter what the guy
looks like, right?
Try to sound intelligent. At least read some of
the headline stories on the aol home page – and not the ones about
Madonna. Some older guys like conversation first before fucking. It
makes them feel they’re with a human being not a machine.
After all this, be ready for the competition.
There are plenty of pretty guys like you with their brains in their
dick, all fighting for these same, finite (that’s your big word for
the day) gay tourist dollars. And after you’ve accumulated a couple
of bucks, put it aside to get your GED. Believe me, it beats trying
to stick a 70 year old guy’s limp noodle up your ass and sounding
like you’re in ecstasy.
Top on my list in the gym asshole category are
the cell phone addicts. They’re on a machine you want and it’s not
that they’re taking a quick break between reps. No, they’re just
sitting there, gabbing away to their clubbing partner, girlfriend,
mother, or some sucker who may actually be interested in that
overpriced home they’ve been trying to unload for the past six
months. All gyms should make it a rule – if you gotta make a call,
do it off the gym floor.
A close second are the chit chatters, you know
those two guys who linger around a machine you’ve been wanting to
get on for the past half hour, one on it but not doing anything, the
other leaning against it in a sexy kind of pose. And God help you if
one’s trying to make the other. One time I clocked a conversation
that went on for twenty minutes.
Then there’s the asshole with a bod all the
hours in the gym aren’t going to make a difference with who just has
to get on the machine you’re on. He lurks there on the edge of your
peripheral vision but enough to make sure you see him. There’s a
least a dozen unoccupied devices of self-torture he can use, but,
no, he has to use yours. Sometimes he’ll even quip, “Gonna be long?”
to which I usually reply, “Sorry buddy. It’s gonna be awhile.” Or I
kill myself and do an extra rep just to piss him off more.
The “impress you, didn’t I?” guys do 30 pounds
and two reps, then reset the machine to 150 to impress or intimidate
the next guy up.
The ones I love the best are the “Must Be Seen”
boys, who mill around the gym looking busy to maximize their
exposure, but leave a half hour or 45 minutes later not having done
much at all.
All this sweat and sacrifice and money and time
– and assholes - just to snarl a man We can fool ourselves all we
want into thinking it’s because we want to stay healthy but deep
down we know we want to feel hot and confident and ready. I’m
beginning to wonder if just whipping out my credit card once a month
for the “deep tissue therapist” of my choice in the back of one of
the gay rags wouldn’t make more sense. One thing for sure - it would
take the guilt trip out of pigging out with a half gallon of
pistachio ice cream.
Charlotte Roche is a curious mix of old radicalism and
new daring. A well-known music and talk show host in
Germany, Roche has produced a minor literary scandal, not to
mention a major commercial success, with her first novel, "Wetlands,"
which is now being published in the United States. The first
German book to make Amazon's worldwide bestseller list,
"Wetlands" is a savage, darkly humorous attempt to depict
the contours of female anatomy and desire that has appalled
as many as it has delighted with its graphic details.
Was Shakespeare a hottie? Was Homer a hunk? John Milton:
six-pack abs? Dante: hot or not?
You would think, from recent coverage of the portrait newly
claimed to be of Shakespeare (a claim front-paged by the New York Times early last month) that these are valid
literary questions rather than evidence that the culture of
celebrity has irretrievably corrupted literature.
Shakespeare is handsome and glamorous, so how
does this change the way we think about him? And
do the painting and provenance tell us more
about his sexuality, and possibly about the
person to whom the sonnets are addressed?
When performance artist par excellence, former notorious
Warhol actress, East Village anti-gentrification activist, downtown
art archivist, and libidinal hurricane
came across my manifesto Toward the New Degeneracy, which
deals with bohemia and the artistic avant-garde, she knew we were
destined to meet.
For more than two years, on the advice of certain
(ex-)friends, I assiduously evaded the Exterminating Angel known as
Penny, out of fear that my narcissism wasn’t strong enough to
vanquish hers. I mean, who knew more about bohemia, the cultural
history of New York, or the disastrous gentrification of the East
Village than she? Meeting her might force me to take my 20-year-old
gold-braided chip off my shoulder, despite my fondness for
epaulettes (they were big in the 70s). Maybe I’d have to turn in my
crown of thorns and relinquish to her my prickly throne as the Royal
Crank of Anti-Establishment Rants.
Well, never, Mary.
But actually, I had a lot to worry about. Nobody can
harangue, disturb, delight, and mesmerize a crowd by relentless
complaint and irresistible humor like the divine... Continued after
the Jump, Penny Arcade VS. Bruce Benderson
Unless you’ve got children of a certain age, you
probably haven’t seen much of Zac Efron’s work. This
is it, so far, in a nutshell: Efron is the star of
Disney’s High School
Musical franchise, which ostensibly revolves
around the blooming relationship between Troy (Efron)
and Gabriella (Vanessa Hudgens), a jock and a brain
respectively, who couldn’t be more different from
each other but who discover a common ground in their
mutual love for music.Their
(chaste) courtship involves various plot twists and
adolescent entanglements enacted through a series of
song-and-dance numbers. That, essentially, is a
High School Musical
movie. In the past three years, Disney has produced
a trio of them, and it’s now estimated that the
films, plus all of the attendant
HSM (as the kids
like to call it) merchandising, has generated more
than $1 billion in revenues. It hasn’t hurt the
cause that Efron got together with Hudgens in real
life, and that he also appeared in Adam Shankman’s
2007 remake of Hairspray, which raked in more than $200
million worldwide. Continued after the Jump,
Zac Efron Gets Dirty
Ah, the gym! I used to belong to a totally gay
one. Now I go to one that’s mixed but neither sexual orientation has
a monopoly on eye candy, homophobia and assholes.
As for the eye candy, what’s there to say? You
can OD on it – and that goes for the hot, 20 inch waist gals too.
Although there are some guys who prance around who think their hot
even if their belly’s in the Panhandle and their ass is in New
Which brings me to the homophobia. Rampant and
as thick as sweat on a crunch board. Straight guys are afraid to
look at another guy for fear the guy will think he’s queer and
coming on to him, and gay guys don’t look so they don’t have to deal
with rejection or make some poor slob think he’s being wooed. It’s
as if everyone has blinders on. So in the end, we sport that vacant,
“I don’t give a fuck” stoic stare when in reality what we want to do
is grab the guy by the balls, shove him down on that crunch board
and fuck the shit out of him right there in front of all those
Plus, everyone is trying to out-butch one
another with that same gym jock swagger, whether they’re six foot
two and built like a brick shit house or five foot two and Woody
Allen’s younger brother. You know the trot I mean, slow and easy
with the hips, butt out, shoulders up (after all you worked on ‘em
so show ‘em off) and those muscular, veiny arms just hanging there.
Oh, with that stoic vacant look to make it complete. Or that
optional pulling up of the T-shirt to casually show off those killer
Moments after San Francisco City Supervisor Bevan Duffy
praised the gay porn industry for promoting a sex-positive
environment and praising the industry's role as "the first
exposure many of us had to the gay community", porn
impresario Michael Lucas jumped on the stage of the Castro
Theater's GayVN Awards and admonished the crowd, "Shame on
you! “Shame on the judges who nominated and awarded [porn
star Brent] Corrigan. On a night we honor ASACP there should
be no forgiveness for the company’s and individuals who put
the industry in danger by supporting this.”
Lucas was admonishing them because Corrigan had just won three
awards, the first time the formerly underage model had been
nominated. Corrigan admitted in 2005 to filming several bareback
scenes for Cobra Video while underage, using a fake ID to convince
now-murdered Cobra owner Bryan Kocis that he was over 18. Since
then, Corrigan has gone on to form his own production company. The
story continues after the Jump,Michael
Lucas Vs. Brent Corrigan
Indeed, there are many exceptions to what were commonly
understood rules in our lives. But is there one, Thomas L. of
Providence, Rhode Island asks, for the call back? "We had two
amazing dates without sex; on our third, he made love to me," he
writes us. "The problem is, he hasn't called me back going on three
Of course, a number of issues come to mind.
Pride: "I mean, he was inside
of me. He made all of the moves. I gave myself to him. I feel cheap
calling him after three days of nothing, like I'm desperate."
Desire: "I really like him.
He wasn't like anyone else. And I want to see him again so much."
Anger: "I feel stupid.
...Just when I thought this wasn't just another ... Continued after
the Jump, Call backs
Ashton Kutcher Gets Waxed
at 7:54 AM
How hot is this? Check it out. Ashton Kutcher gets his chest
waxed and lets loose with a few screams.
married married, yep to a woman . She’s a wonderful wife and
stay-at-home mom to our three beautiful kids but as I get older my
urges for guys are getting stronger and stronger. Fortunately I have
a few buddies at the gym where we play in the sauna when the coast
is clear. There’s even an occasional web date on the Q.T. But I’m
tired of leading this double life. Should I just tell my wife and
get it over with and stop living a lie?
there are a few wives that will understand and even let you play on
the side but, buddy, life isn’t a happy ending Logo movie and
honesty is not always the best policy. Unless you can read your
wife, I wouldn’t say shit. Divorce can be pretty costly particularly
if she has no source of income and there are kids in the picture.
You could be cleaned out financially in a New York minute and
wouldn’t even be able to afford your gym membership. My advice: keep
your secret life just that. Just don’t fall in love, huh, stupid?
"Wow" by Julian Hargreaves from THE/END (#12/2009) stars
Francisco in a pop-inspired layout that looks like
Remington Steele turning tricks in Hollywood circa 1984. Lots more
photos and Story after the Jump, Happy Ending
The best thing about
American Swing, the documentary about famed swingers club Plato’s
Retreat, is that it’s not a dramatic recreation. That project
probably got dumped after the movie about Studio 54, simply called
54, bombed in 1998. Instead, the documentary, directed by Jon Hart
and Matthew Kaufman, uses the people who were there to tell the
story of Plato’s Retreat, which first appeared at the Ansonia
apartment building and later moved to 509 West 34th Street.
still some star power behind the tale of NYC’s legendary swing club.
The parade of commentators eventually turns into a parlor game.
Here’s a tip: you get pretty far in before Anthony Haden-Guest
Much of the fun with
American Swing is catching up with folks. There are some pleasant
surprises. Veteran porn star Annie Sprinkle looks great. Al
Goldstein is in relatively good shape. There’s no such thing as a
bad cameo from Professor Irwin Corey. It’s also good to see porn
director and former Plato’s manager Fred Lincoln on the big screen,
since he didn’t get to reprise his role as a psycho in the remake of
The Last House on the Left.
"What Would You Do?" Plants Gay Men in a Straight Sports Bar with
at 9:00 AM
ABC News planted a Gay couple in a straight New Jersey Sports
bar throughout an entire day. The objective was for them to show
affection for each other and gauge strangers reactions. The video
shows a surprising level of support and acceptance.
Peter Pans and Tinker Bells: Part 2
Posted 3/24/2009 at 9:00 AM by
Last time I spoke about the Tinker Bells of gay
society, those guys who think life is one perpetual fuckfest with no
responsibilities or consequences. Now, there is the crème de la
crème of the Tinker Bells, the ones we all see on the beach at
Sebastian, the buffed thirty year olds with the Matinee looks paired
off on the blanket with some old man – I don’t mean older – I mean a
member of the Denture Cream Generation. What I’m sure they know but
don’t want to face up to is the reality that the Old Man is the one
really in charge and that they are as expendable as a used condom on
the floor of a sex club.
So why should I give a shit about the Tinker
Bells? None of my fucken business, right? I beg to differ –
unfortunately, we’re forced to deal with them every time we venture
into our closeted two-by-four gay worlds. (And we are closeted and
ghettoized, boys, make no mistake about that, and not by choice, but
that’s material for another blog). They’re the waiters at the gay
restaurants, the help behind the sex club or bath house entrance
windows, the clerks at the gay shops.
You’re dropping $45 for a T-shirt to cater to
your petty ego that you know was made in Vietnam for a quarter and
there’s a Tinker Bell, having a-diarrhea-of-the-mouth conversation
on his cell while you’re trying to check out. Suddenly that frumpy
look comes over his face, unless you’re cute of course. You’ve
disturbed him. It’s at that moment that I’d like to say three things
to the fucker, AFTER he’s taken the security lock off the rag I’m
buying: (a) “I don’t have to spend my money here,” (b) “Don’t take
it out on me that at 42 you’re still working at a minimum wage job,”
and lastly, (c) “When you run my Visa card through with the twenty
thousand dollar credit line, I want a smile on your face and a
‘thank you sir’ from your mouth.”
with Wet Underwear Contest
Posted 3/22/2009 at
Right now we're offering up a little bit of Eye Candy, but we'll
blog some more later today. We're working our four spaces at Fort
Lauderdale's Pridefest and not getting much done! This is Robert. We
found him slinging cocktails at Twist on Miami Beach. To check out
more photos of Twist's Elite Underwear Show
Luxury Retail Continues to Suffer, Fetish Wear Feels the Pinch
The red and black walls of Demask, a high-end fetish wear
boutique on Orchard Street, are lined with racks of leather straps,
latex jocks, corsets, bodysuits, butcher aprons and other buckles,
prongs, chains and kinky accessories.
But according to the Antoinette, the store’s manager, who can be
found most days and evenings at the counter, Demask is experiencing
the economic slump in its own peculiar way.
“We do sell little things—like toys, masks and small
accessories—and we get a lot of foot traffic, but people just aren’t
buying our primary wares: the clothing,” says Antoinette, who wishes
to be known by her first name only. The store, long a mainstay in
the fetish community, has experienced such a sales drop that,
according to Antoinette, it’s not even breaking even.
Posted 3/20/2009 at 10:04 PM by
I teach college in-between doing research for
my books – in the dark venues of Lauderdale’s sex scene - and I’ve
been amazed that almost two thirds of my students and the ones with
the most smarts are women. I mean, Christ, where are the men – are
they all planning to be web designers, rock stars, or live off a
woman’s six figure corporate lawyer’s salary? Again, we talk in
generalities but my conviction is that the ladies are far more
mature than the guys and that a good percentage of the American male
population – straight and gay - still live in a world of adolescent
exuberance. Straight guys who fall in this category I like to call
Peter Pans: out with boys, into football and playing jock,
forgetting they’re 45 or 55, beer bellied, and up to their asses in
Now the gay equivalent are what I label Tinker
Bells. Gay guys who partied through their 20’s and 30’s with little
in the way of career aspirations or investments and now at the Just
for Men time of their lives have no notion or, worst, haven’t even
thought about who’s going to take care of them when the Viagra
doesn’t work anymore and their asses are sagging. Oh, we’ve all run
into them, the great-in-the-sack, still hot at forty something or
fifty something guy who lives in “A Rented Room” and has had a
string of Christmas help, minimum wage, temp jobs and pissed the
money away as fast as it came in searching for that next great lay
in Amsterdam, Rio or Montreal, following the moveable feast of
Leatherfests and Bearfests. Social Security quarters? Pensions?
401K’s? Who’s running for President again?
More on Tinker Bells Next Time
The Curious Case of
the Gay-Porn-Star Identical Twins!
Posted 3/19/2009 at 2:34 PM
photo of A-Rod kissing himself in the April edition of Details
magazine is getting a lot of talk online and on the news, but what
caught our eye is the story about the porn-star identical twins.
Discontent after appearing on numerous TV shows including Law &
Order, with modeling gigs for Barclays and offers on the table from
Ralph Lauren Polo, these two brothers took off in a different, some
would say, insane direction. You'll have to pick up a copy of the
magazine to the read rest, but we assure you it's worth every penny
of the $3.99!
Jerry and I were really attracted to one another right from the
start. I’m pretty hairy and Jerry likes hairy guys. Jerry’s a smooth
Latin and I go ga-ga over smooth Latins. Our sex was great but on
everything else we were the exact opposites, and after a few months
of putting up with the bullshit, I left. Now I’ve met the most
wonderful guy in the world – Ben – and while we are on the same
wavelength on so many things, he’s hairy and that’s starting to get
in the way of my hard dick. I really want to be loyal to my man but
do you think his not being my physical type might get in the way?
A:Wake up. The sexual attraction has to
be there right from the start or it ain’t going nowhere. You can try
to brainwash or try to reprogram yourself all you want but sooner or
later your dick that’s hardwired for Latins is going to be dragging
you to Hialeah. You got four options: keep Jerry as a fuck buddy;
drop Ben; pay for his laser hair removal; or learn conversational
Ian Somerhalder (30) is American
actor, male fashion model and producer, probably most notable for
playing Boone in the TV drama Lost and as
Paul Denton in
the film The Rules of Attraction where he plays a
character. In May 2006, Somerhalder was named one of DNA
Models' Top 10 Male Models.
Posted 3/16/2009 at 2:41 PM by
Last time I
talked about the virtues of Big V – Viagara – and how it’s added
years to the sex life of some many of us who aren’t 22 any more.
Your dick may still want it but as you get older, getting it up
starts becoming a lot of work. That’s why I’m convinced that the
reason a lot of hot, humpy, built-like-brick shithouses guys after
they turn 40 go bottom is because it’s just easier. You don’t have
to worry about Mr. Peter or “performing.” Just spread those cheeks
and get off from the other direction. Hell, most guys I’ve fucked
the shit out of aren’t even hard when they shoot. Amazing.
what’s the real reason for this shortage of hard-on’s and our need
to turn to pharms to make it happen? (Hell, have you noticed even
porn stars are having problems and they eat Viagra like M and M’s?)
It’s my firm belief we – straight guys and gay guys alike – have
become desensitized to sex. Sex and skin are all over the place. My
female college students dress like streetwalkers, buff bodies are
all over TV, and not too long ago, there was even a billboard for
Manhunt.net on 95. No wonder guys came out of the limp dick closet
by the millions and made Viagra Pfizer’s best seller ever. It takes
more and more to get us hot. You have to agree - there was
something to be said for the good old days when gay life was still
something only whispered about, not debated in state houses.
About a year
ago my long term partner (who’s 10 years older than me), after being
content for decades with our platonic relationship, decided he
wanted to resurrect our sex life. OK, I said, no problem; it beat
putting money down at the sex clubs. But when his Pee Wee wouldn’t
react to my alluring advances, he desperately asked if I knew how he
could get some Viagara. Not letting on that I get at least a dozen
spam messages a day from pharms trying to hustle the stuff to me now
that I’m such an established customer, I innocently said I would
Google the web.
He checked the
mailbox three times a day like a kid waiting for Santa to slide down
the chimney. Finally, IT came. He asked me to sign for the envelope
postmarked India because he didn’t want to show his face to the
mailman. But when it came time to pop the pill – I know this sounds
nuts - he stopped cold in his tracks. All the
contra-indications those announcers on the commercials rattled off
on the sound track while the visual showed some couple exchanging
lascivious smiles suddenly engulfed his brain. “I can’t. I can’t do
it. What if …,” he stammered. Was he worried about that erection
“lasting more than four hours?” Frankly I think that’s a ploy to
push the shit. We should be so lucky.
So there the
pills sit, forlorn and abandoned, in a dark desk drawer. I would
have to have the luck of being married to the one guy in the whole
US of A - straight, gay, or in between - who ordered Viagara and
never took it!.
In a poll of 5,391 BastardLife readers, 23% of
you told us you incorporate food into your sexual regimen. Raw Honey
won the favorite spot for use on nipples among both men and women.
41% of you said that food was the best form of "erotica," citing
your use of the meal hour to work up your sexual appetite.
Interested in a great Bastard Life readers tip? Find it after the
Bel Ami Porn Star
Ralph Woods Spotted at the Sleazy Awards Pool Party in Fort
This month's Gay Times features Lilly Allen in her
most outrageous interview ever.
"I did once snog these [Lesbian Twins] in San
She goes on after being asked "Identical or
"Identical: Two girls. I was on this Sofa (at this
point Lilly Jumps onto her seat like Tom Cruise on Oprah and stars
gyrating with one hand in front and one hand in back to show where
the women were) and I had them both and I was dancing and shoving my
arse on one of them and and one on my front bottom. My assistant has
got the picture!
GQ is going to sell some issues
with this revealing interview starring everyone’s favorite vampire,
Robert Pattinson. Who wants to
read about his sudden Twilight fame when he’s describing doing it
doggystyle on the set of Little Ashes with Javier Beltrán.
“I thought I’d never get
another acting job again,” Pattinson says. “So I was like, ‘Yeah—why not try to
do something weird?’ There’s all these gay sex scenes. And y’know, I haven’t
even done a sex scene with a girl, in my whole career.”
Hugh Jackman appeared on a Japanese game show, and after a typically insane
entrance began to greet the show's players. He appeared shocked at first when
one of the men reached out and grabbed his testicles. Granted, Jackman did tweak
the guy's nipples first. A couple more photos and some additional story after
Hugh Jackman Testicular TV Examination Confirms: 'Two Balls'
The Love drill. "I hate
you, but I want to fuck you, and oh by the way—I love you more than
anything." Ok this may not be exactly how it played out, but in a
nutshell, this is how love, where vulnerability exists, can play
The deeply in love know it: You know you'll never
leave, but you say, "Fuck it," slam a door, grab your keys and your
jacket and leave (for a couple of hours); You yell out angrily, "I
wish we'd never met," then rip her clothes off or push her to the
bed and proceed to have angry amazing sex that she thanks you for
later; He screams, "I hate you, I really fucking hate you. And if
you ever leave me, I'll really hate you," crying, accepting your
tissue, then later your embrace. Continued after the Jump,
It was a packed
courtroom today as Harlow Cuadra and his former lover Joseph
Kerekes finally took the stand in the capital murder trial
Investigators allege the pair
killed gay porn producer Bryan Kocis, 44, in his Dallas Township,
Pennsylvania home in an effort to cut free Kocis' biggest star, Sean
Lockhart, from his contractual obligations. The two men operated a
rival online gay porn business and believed a film staring Lockhart
and Cuadra could be worth $1 million.
Kocis' body was found by
firemen responding to a fire at Kocis' house on the night of January
24, a Wednesday, his neck slashed to the point of near decapitation
and his torso stabbed 28 times. Continued after the Jump, 'I'm No Killer' Gay Porn Star Tells Jurors
Gays Don’t Die, They Just Go to Dinner Parties
Posted 3/9/2009 at 6:27 PM
I have no delusions of grandeur like some guys my age. I’m 71 and
look it. The pouch, the bald head, the dentures – to paraphrase
MacArthur, we old gays don’t die, we just go to dinner parties. My
last two long term relationships left me for younger guys. Now the
shoe’s on the other foot. Since I retired down here in Lauderdale
from Milwaukee, more and more younger guys – I mean young enough to
be my grandson – have come on to me. One in particular, Oliver, says
he really likes mature men, not kids as he calls guys closer to his
age, and says he’s beginning to fall in love with me. Again, I’ve
been around the block a few times and don’t expect harps and
violins, but how can I tell if he loves me for me or the Rolex I
bought him for Valentine’s Day? My so-called contemporaries think
I’m nuts? Do you?
No, there are genuinely younger guys who like older men – maybe it’s
a Daddy or mentor thing or maybe they just want somebody they feel
comfortable and secure with. But my own private opinion is they’re
far and in between and most youngens do it for the guy’s credit
line, not his smile. So how can you tell the difference?
picking up the tab on his Cooper and cell phone just expected?
constantly on his cell making mysterious calls out of your range,
saying they’re calls from prospective job recruiters?
constantly going on five hour job interviews?
like to club with his younger friends and tries to find every excuse
for you not to join them? (“But Billy, your arthritis!”)
telling you the gym is now open 24/7 and he likes to work out at 2
in the morning?
find condoms in the trash when you’ve been out and haven’t had sex
with him in a week?
answered yes to any of these questions, the next time he goes to the
gym for a 2 am “work-out” have the locksmith ready and some hunk you
can fuck afterwards to pile his shit on the curb. Remember, money
can but most anything – including a new fling.
In a poll of
3,962 BastardLife readers,
18% of you told us you would have anonymous sex this weekend through
the help of the Internet. Of the 38% of you who said you had hooked
up online within the past 3 months... Finish reading after the Jump,
My lover and I were traveling on 595 in Davie last Saturday when we
got a flat tire. We called the Road Rangers service patrol for
help and this really hot guy showed up. Both of us wanted more from
him than a fixed flat. My Gaydar was screaming, but Tom, my lover,
was saying I was crazy. I wanted to go for it, but Tom thought we'd
get our asses kicked. Was there a way to get the stud's phone number
without ending up with black eyes and tied to the guard rail next to
our car? We've also run out of gas on that road and I have a feeling
it could happen again next Saturday!
First, if I went by my Gaydar when I was living on Staten Island,
the forgotten borough of New York City and a hotbed for hot Italian
men, I would hit up on half the guys in the Staten Island Mall –
even if their fat wives and kids were watching. I also probably
would have had my head in the toilet. But OK, say your Gaydar is on
course: tell him that you guys are in show biz and are looking for
some very personal security and would he be interested in
moonlighting on the side to make a couple of bucks (and do a couple
of bangs). Dudes like that are always looking for a way to generate
some extra cash. But watch his crotch when you stare into his sky
blue eyes to make the offer – if there is growing interest (like Mae
West quipped, “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to
see me?”), then your Gaydar might be right on target. If, on the
other hand, he does beat the shit out of both of you “homos” and tie
you up to the guard rails, enjoy the experience as your entry into
the world of S and M. Plus public humiliation can be fun! You two
will probably be spotted by some roving news van and have your five
minutes of fame on every station that night and half a dozen
websites by morning!
it straight out – I have no bones about using Viagara to get a
boner. My male ego ain’t fragile enough to pass up a good thing and
when you no longer needed a doctor’s visit or a scrip and could
order it online like you would some 6 inch thong from International
Male (both come from India) – well I became a proud, full-fledged
member of the Big V generation overnight. I must say the magic blue
pill has done good by me. Chew on it (it works faster that way) and
45 minutes later – you can almost set your watch by it – Mr. Peter
is up and ready for action. In fact V has added a whole new meaning
to being a top. It’s fucking in the third dimension.
that scene in “Cat on A Hot Tin Roof” when closet-case Paul Newman
says to Burl Ives that he drinks until he feels that click in his
head? Well, that’s the same with Big V. You take it, waiting for
that warm twitch in your dick, only the first sign you know it’s
working is that click in your head.
a well educated Ph.D’ed up-to-his-ass fuck buddy of mine when I
lived in New York who worked for Pfizer telling me how the company
had used its male employees as guinea pigs of sorts. Seems this high
blood pressure med they had developed had this unforeseen but very
interesting side effect and so they decided to distribute the stuff
to their staffs to see what happened. All I can say, we screwed for
Now I got
a good reason for turning to pharms - I’m not 22, 32, 42 – let’s
stop there, O.K? But what the fuck’s the problem with these twenty
somethings or thirty somethings who come on to me at Slammers, drop
their drawers and still can’t get their wiener stiff even after five
minutes of my awarding winning blow job? (Hell, when I was in my
twenties and thirties, I was playing with myself three or four times
a day if I could. Give me a rainy Saturday afternoon and a hot issue
of Sports Illustrated and I was in jerk-off heaven.)
same token, I think it’s crazy that you have to be hard yourself to
snag the guy. Sure you may have Big V or Big C simmering in your
loins but you still need the stimulation. I mean, isn’t the guy
supposed to get you hard, not you be hard to get the guy? Or am I
missing something here?
What happens when someone as
creative as Justin Timberlake rethinks the premise of the Amazing
Race? What happens when MTV provides the vehicle to market it? What
happens when you hide $50,000 somewhere in a huge city and make two
phone calls that start a race
using texted clues to find the
money? What happens when you have a new contest week after week?
This is what happens.
Michael Breyette is a full-time artist who specializes in erotic
illustrations of naked or semi-clothed men. His work has appeared in
several magazine features and gay romance novels and his first book,
Summer Moved On.
They have a point: "Have
we seen the last print edition of Hustler Magazine? Say it ain't so, Larry! Well, Larry Flynt
isn't exactly pulling all the levers at his porn mag these days, but
the CEO and CFO of FriendFinder, the current publisher of Hustler,
are currently squabbling over whether or not to close the sticky—er,
glossy—mag. The print edition apparently only loses money for the
company, with its (NSFW) website and (NSFW) Adult FriendFinder
apparently raking in the big bucks.
It's too soon to tell if
the party people have won.
But after weeks of civic soul searching from City
Hall to cyberspace, it's beginning to look as if Baghdad by the Bay
will survive the latest threat to its reputation as the capital of
while, though, it was touch and go here in the city that brought you
the Summer of Love, Burning Man and the Folsom Street Fair (the
self-proclaimed "granddaddy of all leather events").
organizers of Bay to Breakers -- the raciest footrace in America --
set off the hand-wringing when they announced last month that
nudity, alcohol and floats would be banned from the infamous annual
competition, which has transformed over the last 97 years into a
Pilsener-fueled party on Pumas.
of State Hillary Clinton called on a man at a Q&A session at
the European Parliament today "because he [was wearing] a
T-shirt that [said] 'I Love Hillary'" on it.
The man stood up and said: "My name is Max. I am
from Moldova, and I am a gay rights activist. In seven countries in
the world homosexuals are sentenced to death and many more to
prison. A lot of gay men around the world die because of the HIV
AIDS policies that the Bush administration had that did not allow to
spend money on prevention for men who have sex with men. How do you
see the foreign policy of the United States changing in the coming
years in the field of human rights and in particular sexual rights
and gay and lesbian rights?"
long-awaited biopic about Abraham
Lincoln seems to finally have reached pre-production. While
you might be thinking "who cares?" we'd like relay three bits of
information that might make you sit up and take notice:
1) Abraham Lincoln shared a bed with his best
friend, Joshua Speed, for four years. The men were 28 and
23-years-old respectively , and it isn't clear whether they were
"trying on each other's stovepipe hats" or were merely trying to
keep warm on those cold Illinois winter nights.
Twenty two year old
Matt Kirkham hails from Blackpool, UK. As a former professional football player he’ s definitely sculpted an incredible athletic body! With a perfect face, huge chest and powerfully thick legs.
An economy spiraling downward
might be a good thing. For sex,
anyway. Historically, these two
forces have been at odds. When
the economy goes down, public
expressions of sexuality go up.
When stock portfolios are making
bank, people tend to get prissy.
This dialectic between sex and
money was a surprise discovery
for Kat Long, author of the
forthcoming history of sex
called The Forbidden Apple. She
couldn’t believe few had written
about it. There are niche books
aplenty about gay men in 1970s
New York, but little about the
competing forces of “good and
evil,” as she calls it, a
pendulum that has swung
faithfully since New York’s
Gilded Age, where Long begins
her sordid tale.
“When the economy
is bleak, sex culture becomes
more visible on a street level,”
says Long, a former editor at GO
magazine and contributor to BUST
and the late Playgirl. “I think
people need escape. Simple needs
still need fulfilling. And these
don’t change. It’s human nature.
The question is how the sex
industry adapts to these times.”
is being made ofa study purporting to show that conservative states consume the
same amount of porn as liberal states, and that Utah is the #1
study was based on anonymized credit-card receipts, so couldn't it
be said that perhaps Utah has the highest shame about its
New Yorkers buy their porn without bothering to anonymize? More from
Boy Culture after the Jump,Utah Saints?
Now that all the Fashion Week craziness has jumped on
a jet and landed in Europe and you’re no longer sick of it all, but
back on your knees begging for more (literally), we thought we’d
share some of the backstage action from
Collective’s show at New York Fashion week last week.
Upstairs on the
runway it was pure spectacle. The show, titled Time Machine, landed
at the Angel Orensanz foundation on the Lower East Side, a stripped
down ex-synagogue. On the runway a copper-colored wood, metal, and
leather beast of a turn-of-the-century carriage - the time machine
itself - was in the sights of a gigantic hemisphere of Orwellian
electronic eyes that stared down from on high. Models stomped past
in duct-taped combat boots while ripped up machine-music boomed
throughout the eerie space. The place just didn’t feel safe and we
loved it. This continues with lots more photos after the Jump,
Nice Collective's Time Machine
The test of time. In a poll of
3,126 BastardLife men, 43% of you said that you were masters of your
man's balls. Richard wrote in, "Slow, slow, slow. The key is slow,
warm, and slow. My boyfriend of 10 years is always in a rush to make
stud love to me like some porn star—and a good one, because when I
succumb, it's quite mind blowing. But when I'm runnin' the show, I
lay him back and take my time. And the one thing I make damn sure I
service the best is that beautiful big old sack of his. Before he
gushes, my big tough burly man of a man is writhing like a 16 year
old girl havin' an orgasm for the first time." Continued and more
from BastardLife after the Jump,
[Greta Christina] “An
Actual Lesbian Girlfriend,” Or, Why You Should Never Listen to Dan
Savage About Bisexuality
recent column, Savage compiled a sampler of
questions from students on his recent tour of
universities. And among them was this question:
“I’m a lesbian, and my girlfriend is bisexual and
wants to have a three-way with a man. This makes me
nervous. What should I do?”
“Get yourself a refillable Xanax prescription, or
get yourself an actual lesbian girlfriend.”
This advice is so irresponsible it
made my jaw drop. But because the advice is so terse
— and because the snark- to- content ratio is so
disproportionately high — it’s a little hard to
tease out its actual content, and the actual intent
behind it. Near as I can tell, though, it seems to
be one of the following three things. All of which
There is no more spark in my 7-year relationship and I would
like advice on how to reignite it with her.
I am really encouraged that you have a desire to get the spark back!
It is common for people to reach a point in their relationship where
they believe that a spark should self-maintain and then conclude
that if (well, more accurately when) it doesn't, then the love must
have run dry. It seems you get that this is not true.
When it comes to
anything about your relationship - if you want it to exist, the only
way you can ensure that it will is if you contribute it!
A relationship is a vehicle, a container of
sorts, that provides you the forum and the space to experience
whatever it is the two of you wish to experience. If you are the
only one who wishes to reignite the spark, you alone can take steps
toward this and take 100% responsibility for making it happen.
Martial arts star Hayato Sakurai is the latest
gift us with a sex tape (or three)
note this link is NSFW and people under the age of 18.
In his case, though, like the notorious one that started it all (Pam
& Tommy), the sex appears to be completely real and the participants
Perhaps he was not just trying to get more
famous...but was instead just trying to get off? More from Boy
Culture after the Jump,
Funniest Short Animation Film Ever! Courtesy Pixar Studios
Posted 2/28/2009 at 11:05 AM
Staten Island's King
of the Tickle Video
No nudity. No sex. Just a
chance to see someone tortured with tickles.
Essene Wolf begged for
mercy. He sat immobilized in a wooden chaise lounge, his hands
strapped down to the armrests at the wrist. His feet poked through
stocks attached to the end, a metal latch twisted to keep the
apparatus closed. Only his head was free to move, twisting as he
struggled to break free and stop the people from tormenting him. He
screamed at the top of his lungs, but that only made his situation
worse. A cameraman, sitting on the floor a few feet away, recorded
you want me to stop?” teased one of his abusers.
is all he can answer, breathing
heavily during the brief
respite. “No more.”
two women in their early
twenties named Tasha and Desire,
looked at each other and shook
their heads. They weren’t
through with Essene. They turned
and looked at the cameraman. He
signaled for them to continue.
This is porn star
Michael Lucas receiving a blowjob from, and then licking the
invisible genitalia of, a plastic doll. Allow us to explain.
Posting this video is exactly what Lucas wanted us
to do. It's pure link bait, we know. And so does Lucas, who posted
the video in full
here (potentially NSFW). There's no other reason to explain why
he's mimicking sex with a (quite frightening) child's toy: He's
hoping to draw attention to his open casting call for "models."
The video for the new single from Pete,
Doherty's debut solo album Grace/Wastelands, called "Last
of the English Roses" features Doherty scenes of Doherty playing
football (and looking unusually ordinary) in a playground, and it's
capped by a 30-second man-on-man kiss.
former Libertines and current Babyshambles lead singer is known for
his drug-related run-ins with the law, his relationship with model
Kate Moss, and a side career in art in which many of the works are
made with Doherty's own blood.
You’ve met them - the kids who claim to be all this and
all that, all at the same time. It’s usually a lot of, let’s say,
exaggeration. In the case of one Max Steele, it is no exaggeration.
He’s the epitome of what it means to be a slash kid - musician slash
writer slash performance artist slash zine-maker slash DJ slash
go-go boy slash actor slash pursuits-that-defy-categorization. All
of his projects, activities and multiple personas are folded up into
one total piece of work-in-progress, which in-person, looks like
it’s about to burst out of his in-constant-motion body and
stream-of-consciousness language. His blog claims akathisia (an
inner restlessness, manifesting itself with an inability to sit
still or remain motionless) as an agenda, but I wonder if that’s a
concept or a condition. Or both. Whatever it is, it works.
Weston Bingham: You share a name with an
actual toy robot from 1984 (isn’t that the same year you were
born?), who was the leader of the Robo Force. His motto was “any
mission, any time, any place”. Mere coincidence?
Max Steele: Wow, good research Weston! I didn’t
know about that toy! I guess I would be a good leader of the Robo
Force. Leos are natural leaders (but of course, I don’t need to tell
YOU that). I gotta say, I don’t know if I have the same motto as my
robot namesake. I’m usually too lazy to have that kind of “whatever
it takes” attitude. I guess it depends on what my goal is. I’m sure
I’ve shown some determination, but I’m hard pressed to remember. I
try not to do desperate, but I’m sure that figures in. But, y’know -
Done. In a poll of 5,361 BastardLife respondents,
43% of you cited a lack of concern about slowing down and pacing
yourselves during intercourse because you knew you could keep
yourself erect after ejaculation enough to continue sex—and even
climax two or more times. 21% of you told us that you had found ways
to prevent yourself from climaxing—like pulling out just before
orgasm to perform oral sex on your partner, then continuing with
intercourse after the wave of nearly cumming passed. A small
percentage of you ... Continued on Bastard life after the Jump,
Woody Allen Sexy?
Posted 2/25/2009 at 11:16 PM
I’m a corporate attorney, make a six figure salary but for all the
money I’ve spent trying to fix myself up, I’m still taken for Woody
Allen’s younger brother. What this means is I’m lucky to have
quality sex once every leap year. Believe me, it’s not my elastic
band ego that stops me from doing it, but should I stop farting
around and just go out and buy the guy I want?
A: I can’t
condone or encourage an illegal act but let’s say hypothetically
that prostitution were legal (Which I think it should be – have the
government get income tax, sales tax, and make sure the boys are
squeaky clean if you know what I mean). So, if buying someone were
OK, why not? To me, sex is just another commodity for sale. But
you’re a lawyer - make sure to come up with a contract he signs so
you get exactly what you want, whether it be for an hour or a week’s
vacation in Rio, in and out of the bedroom. And remember one thing –
you’re the one paying the freight so you’re the one in control. He
needs your credit line more than you need him, his cock and hot bod
(did I really mean that?).
As far as you being a dead
ringer for Woody Allen’s younger brother: it’s sad that there are
guys out there like you who don’t make the hit parade when it comes
to looks but who could probably offer some other guy so much in a
relationship while the pretty men whom the average housewife in
America would undergo a mastectomy to have 20 minutes of sex with
have the personalities and intelligence of dog shit on a sidewalk.
But who says life’s fair?
Who is Poster Boy?
Henry Matyjewicz says he's
part of an art revolution that's bigger than one person. In his
first interview since his arrest, he talks to Matt Harvey about what
Poster Boy means as a movement.
A full year ago, as the city
was marching to the beat of Buy! Buy! Buy!, defaced posters began
appearing throughout the subway system. The early cut-and-paste jobs
were crude and clever puns loaded with obscenities. A glop of paint
turns a reality show tagline—about some rock stars’ brats—on itself.
Alongside a tow-headed child, a placard asks: “Are They Born to
Fuck?” The images are simultaneously logged on a Flickr site of
someone called Poster Boy NYC. Street art blogs such as “And I Am
Not Lying” took notice and Gawker and Gothamist kept the ball
After the economy crashed—and
millions of straphangers were sick to death of being sold so much
shit—Poster Boy’s style evolved into more sophisticated mash-ups. He
teamed up with a high-minded cabal, including the public space
artist Aakash Nihalani—who framed Poster Boy’s petty criminality in
geometric tape designs. By the time New York magazine
published a profile of Poster Boy on Oct. 5 2008, the subway artist
was an anonymous masked avenger (a sexy accompanying photo showed
tan arms in a wife beater, with a bandana and conductor-style cap,
slouchy jeans and Nikes). He was now a symbol for an ever-more
frustrated creative underclass losing jobs every day.
I love to suck cock and I don’t like to boast, but I can go through
a dozen loads at the sex club glory holes. But I always make sure
between hard-ons to gargle with the mouthwash they provide. I even
carry a small bottle in my pocket along with those Listerine breath
strips just in case I don’t want to give up my booth space on a
brisk Saturday night. You think that will protect me from all the
shit goin' around?
You mean the shit on his cock from the guy he barebacked before he
stuck his edged-up tool in your hungry mouth because his previous
suitor didn’t want to get bred? Or are you talking about all those
swiggly little organisms that cause syph, gon, and - God forbid –
the Big A?
Are you fucken nuts? Did you
fail your high school biology class because you were too entranced
with Jim the All- American Jock in the front row? By the time you
reach for your breath strip, those tiny critters, that move at the
speed of light, are down your throat and half way to California .
But good news! At least when it comes to the HIV virus, studies show
it’s less likely to get infected swallowing cum than getting it up
But if you get a prolonged sore
throat just remember, S and G may be paying you some company. Ever
hear of drug-resistant strains? You bad boy, you!
Off the Box: The
state of being removed from a position of prominence/importance due
to a foolish mistake. Related to Michael Phelps being dropped by
Kellogg after a picture of him with a bong was released.
Dude, after that bonehead move you are so off the
Johnny, is featured in Lady Gaga's latest music video 'Eh, Eh
(Nothing Else I Can Say)' as her 1940 Guido boyfriend! Music video
by Lady Gaga performing Eh,
Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say). Video Director: Joseph Kahn, Video
Producer: Maryann Tanedo.
He's sitting in the darkest
booth in Niko's, one of Manhattan's oldest Italian restaurants. When I
walk in, only half of his face is lit by the flicker of a short glowing
dinner table candle. Hand-stitched deep blue thread can barely be seen
on the lapel of his formal dinner jacket, but I notice it and it shows
off his irrepressibly fashionable presence. As always for our dinners,
Michael stands up with chivalry and greets me with a slow, warm
handshake before we take to the table and the conversation begins.—N.B.
"Several of my readers have written in asking how they can
stay hot in bed after 35, into their 40s, and 50s," I tell him. "Is it all abs
and ass or is it a state of mind?"
He grins thinly. Then I ask, "When can a man stop trying to be
the 'hot young guy' and embrace his age?" Finish reading after the Jump,
Dinners with the devil
Gays And Their Cell phones
(I-pods, I-phones, Blackberrys – you get the drift): Part I
Posted 2/20/2009 at 7:14 PM by
Sure, today cell phones are even
used by homeless people (“Hey, Jimmy, there’s a shitload of aluminum
cans in the dumpster next to Mickey Dee’s!”). But I think the guy
who invented the cell phone had to be gay because if you’re gay and
aren’t carrying one on your cock ring, the powers-to-be just might
revoke your homo-license. In the bars, in the baths, in the
supermarkets, on the beach, in the gym, in bed, between fucks,
during fucks, we gays just can’t live without our cells. About the
only place in local gaydom where they’re strictly forbidden is at
local sex club's like Slammers and
Clubhouse. Some of
the nasty boys were using their C’s to take pix to send back to
family and friends or, better yet, use to jerk off over in church
My cell phone Kodak moment was
the young hot guy I spotted chatting away on his cell while bobbing
in the ocean at
Sebastian Beach, Lauderdale’s gay hangout in the sun. I looked at him
like he was nuts – he just smiled demurely back and went on
chit-chatting. I was praying for some big wave to knock it out of
his hand or get it wet (can you get electrocuted by a wet cell??)
but no luck.
I hate cells and rarely use my
humble, very ungay TracPhone (I have it in my car for emergencies or
for that occasional convenience call when I’m lost looking for a
trick’s address because the fuck gave me a make-believe one). You
see, when I was back in NYC as a senior hospital PR exec handling
media, I had to practically carry my cell phone in the shower. You
become so jaded in this business that when someone gets shot and
lingers on, you wish they just died so all those three o’clock in
the morning calls from the media would end. That happened one night
when a cop was shot by some lowlife and I had $150 theatre tickets
to some hot show whose name has since been lost in my memory bank.
When I got the beep from the hospital that he had died, I spent the
break between acts out on West 44th Street calling a
dozen media outlets with the news. One pain in the ass.
So what’s wrong with cell
phones? More next week
2006 - Javier Ninja - Hands Performance
week it happened again. I was at a
dinner party at The Standard, downtown
L.A.'s hipster-by-way-of-Ikea boutique
hotel and what was originally supposed
to be an intimate group of four had
become, by the time I showed up
fashionably late, a massive table of
sixteen, thanks to the hostess. The
Hostess is of a certain type you might
recognize; casually affluent,
martini-swilling, in a chiffon dress by
a designer whose name is
unpronounceable. She's Carrie Bradshaw.
She's Holly Golightly. She's Julia
Friend's Wedding. She's Willamina
Slater. And fifteen minutes after I sit
down, she's sitting in my lap,
preventing me from grabbing a bite of my
Kobe carpaccio, which I dare not eat
lest it wind up on the dress, which is
now rubbing up against my nose. Ten
minutes later, she's insisting I unzip
the back of the dress and examine her
tattoos. Another ten minutes and she's
telling me how we're going to be friends
forever and jokes how this must be the
most action I've ever had with a girl.
"Not true!", I tell here. "There
was a girl in college who would make me touch her breasts when she
got drunk." She laughs and starts bouncing up and down on my knee,
grinding her pelvis into mine while regaling the guests about her
latest European business trip. Inside, I am having a straight panic.
Continued after the Jump,
The Care and Feeding of Your
Homosexual- A User's Guide for Straights
Gaga Pet Shop Boys Remix-Free!
2/19/2009 at 8:06 PM
Music: Lady Gaga joined the Pet Shop Boys onstage [last] night
at the BRIT Awards 2009 at London’s Earls Court to perform 'What
Have I Done To Deserve This?', the song PSB originally recorded with
Dusty Springfield more than 20 years ago. Pet Shop Boys received the
Outstanding Contribution to Music Award at the ceremony and Lady
Gaga flew in from her European tour for the night to celebrate with
performance was a thank you to Pet Shop Boys for their remix of her
track Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say), which is available as a free
download exclusively to AOL Music UK.
a poll of 4,351 male BastardLife
readers, 58% of you said it's not the
abdominal muscles that arouse you, its
buff arms and that v-shaped set of
muscles along side the abdomen that you
live for. A remarkably small 28% of you
voted for the abs as the thing that
"turns me on most when he's inside of me
and I'm on my back watching them get a
workout." The rest of you were champions
for the chest, citing, "I need something
to grab onto—or rest my head on after
we're done making love." Check out more
after the Jump, Bastard Life
Nascimento in DNA
2/19/2009 at 4:28 PM
buy DNA at most newsstands that carry Gay mags, but we recommend you
pick up your copy at To
The Moon Marketplace in Wilton Manors.
is incredibly attractive, so having him in my bedroom for
four-and-a-half hours is nothing I would say no to,” says
David, 23, of Williamsburg. “He’s a really fantastic guy,
really educated, not a skeezeball in any way.” For the
slight, blond David—who hangs out at bars like Eastern Bloc,
Sugarland and Metropolitan— meeting a guy like Richard
doesn’t happen every day. But Richard wasn’t there to sleep
with David. He was there to take his picture for East
Village Boys, the art and porn website he runs.
“I don’t work out and I don’t
really watch what I eat,” David says. “When they actually wanted to
shoot me and I saw who I’d be put up next to, it was complete 100
percent ego. If they want me on the site next to all these other
model boys, I’ll do it. It’s kind of a ‘fuck you’ to all the other
gay sites.” Indeed, despite the site’s focus on a different look
than most other gay websites, David was flattered because it was
also a site that he himself would read. “There are not too many
places online or in print where you can get really good
investigative work or see local artists’ work.” Continue reading
after the Jump,
Inside New York's newest art-porn empire
My boyfriend Larry and I have been together for three months and are
very much in love. We have so much in common and feel really
committed to one another. We like the same video games, the same
action movies, even the same porn stars. And, of course, the sex is
great. Just one thing, though, has started to become a sore point
between us. You see, he’s cut and I’m not, and he’s been pushing me
to go under the knife so even our dicks would look like twins (We’re
both the same size, girth – you know what I mean). Larry says he’d
even pay for the operation. What do you think?
Hey, why not? And when this three month love of the century is over
in another four weeks and the next guy you fall for likes them
uncut, you can always have reattachment surgery. Just keep whatever
they cut off in one of those special Glade bags in your freezer so
it doesn’t get freezer burn. Or, even better, you can donate it as a
charitable contribution and a decent tax write-off (IRS goes by the
inches), to the Foreskin Wannabes of America, those guys who carry
weights on their cut dicks all day just to get what you already
shouldn’t this cut/uncut preference have come up during or after
your first fuck? Or while you guys were negotiating in the bar or on
the web? Remember one thing, getting sliced when you’re a itty bitty
bambino is no big deal, but for adult men circumcision can be one
fucken pain in the dick. If he loves you – really, really loves you
– he won’t let a few inches of skin stand in the way of a lifetime
in Wonderland: The Looking Glass
Commentary Posted 2/16/2009 at 5:26 PM
being kept (lucky bastard!), you have your work-a-day world and your
“out-to-score” life. Same person, two personas. And isn’t funny how
things that are considered totally gauche in straight circles are
prized in gaydom? And how we shift gears to accommodate both?
life, you’ve got that three piece suit and fucken tie (that never
fits right), or if you’re fortunate to work in a more casual
environment, a polo shirt that you open only part way not to show
too much skin or chest hair.
In gay life, you
can’t wait to tear the shirt off and show as much skin as the law
will allow, ass crack and all. And then some ….
In straight life
you make sure to shake your dick real good after you take a whiz, so
– heavens - you don’t stain your pants. You want to be the center of
attention at a board meeting for other more professional reasons.
Out on to the
town, who wears underwear? And the bigger the wet spot, the hotter
you look. Ditto with that semi-hard-on.
A close shave
for that 9 am Monday meeting is just expected. A two day growth on a
Saturday night and, man, do you look rough and ready and ready to
And deodorant -
well, you’ll get a dirty look on the subway on a July rush hour if
you aren’t wearing any, but come the bar or bath house, deo is a
definite no-no. After all, he wants to sniff and lick your armpits
for the sweat, stupid, not the Calvin Klein.
And gals, I’m
sure you wanna ditch that bra and panties and eyeliner as quick as
you can too, for a scrubbed down look, halter or T shirt and 501’s
with a front fly, right?