Each person has a different path in life and no one knows where it will lead. We would like to think we have it all planned out and things will end up exactly the way we envisioned in elementary school. Life is a journey, and for Adam Pate, the journey has been filled with many twists and turns. Much like Julia Roberts in “Eat, Pray, Love,” Adam reached a point where he needed a change—a chance to step back from the norm and find himself. In a brave move, Adam decided to leave Orlando, Florida and journey to a poverty-stricken town in Honduras to volunteer teaching English at a school. Facing adversity is nothing new for Adam. Growing up in the church, Adam eventually came out to his family and fought for who he is and what he believes in. As an adult, he has taken that same will power and channeled it into helping others find who they are and where they fit in this world. Adam recently spoke with Mark’s List about his journey to Honduras, what he’s learned along the way, coming out to his family and how you can get involved.

You are currently involved in a very ambitious project in Honduras. What attracted you to the country?

Thank you. I originally wanted to go to Africa because that’s usually the country most people think about when volunteering. I remembered seeing pictures of the children who are starving and thought I could help them. I applied with several organizations over there, and a lot of things were not adding up. My friends and family advised me that going to Africa would be very dangerous, especially since I would be going on my own. They thought maybe volunteering in a place that is not so dangerous would be better as my first volunteering experience. I looked up organizations in the Central America and came across HondurasChildren.org and set up an interview with them. The interview could not have been better and a couple days later, I was sent an e-mail stating I needed three letters of recommendation. After the organizations received the letters, I heard great news. I was accepted into their organization to volunteer. I contemplated how many months I wanted to spend over in Honduras and decided on three months.

What is your main objective during your stay in Honduras?

My main objective is to make the children smile, but my main duty is teaching the children English. I also want to be a positive male role model—a lot of the children do not have fathers because most of them are working in the United States or somewhere else in Honduras. The mother typically stays in the house and cooks and cleans while the father is off working. I wanted to come here to lend a hand, a hug, and a smile to these children while teaching them English in a fun and inspiring way

What has been your biggest inspiration in terms of fighting for this cause?

On my first trip here in August, I made a great connection with a 3rd grader named Johan. He lives with his mother, grandmother and sister. His father is working in the United States, so he does not have a father figure. We became the best of friends on my first trip and I would take him to play soccer, tutor him, to eat at Pizza Hut—I  became a person he could open up to. The teachers and principal labeled him as the trouble maker and he certainly was. In English class he was very disruptive and I had to move his desk and face it against the wall some days. At the end of the school year he had raised his grade letter by a D to a B. His attitude had changed because he knew he was capable of doing his work, and he didn't have to appear to be the class clown to get attention.

What have you had to give up in your personal life to pursue this journey?

I gave up living the nine-to-five work schedule, seeing my family, and doing my normal routine for the day and replaced it with living in a poverty-stricken town (El Porvenir). I told myself not have any attachments or anything dealing with relationships while I was on this journey. I wanted to see life from a different perspective. I came out of a relationship around April 2011 and started my first journey in Honduras in August. I arrived in August as a guy with a broken heart, but I left in November as a much stronger guy than when I first started. My heart was mended because I realized many things about myself and what I wanted in life and relationships. I spent a lot of time alone and time reflecting on my life.

Since you’ve been in Honduras, what has surprised you the most about the country?

I am very surprised with how happy the children are. Some of them are living in a house made from sticks, but they always have smiles on their faces. Their smiles and their eyes just radiate happiness. I also volunteer at a church in El Porvenir where most of the children come to eat their only meals for that day. The children have so little, but they are the happiest people I have seen.

On your website (www.adamsjourneyinlife.com) there is an area for donations. How important are the donations and what is the money used for?

Yes, my first trip in August I was able to raise almost $1,800 for the trip. I used the money to purchase my flight, my rooming in Honduras, food, and for a Spanish school for my first week in Honduras. I gave the remainder of the money to the principal at Niños de la Luz,  the  school I teach at. Without the support from my friends and family, I would not have been able to volunteer in Honduras. I do not get paid here, so it was difficult to purchase things without being able to have a paying job while volunteering. Food is about the same price here as back in the States and cosmetic items are triple in price.

If someone wanted to do similar work to what you're doing, how would they find out about it?

If you want to do volunteer work there are wonderful websites online. There are many organizations that charge a hefty amount, but if you weed through the organizations you can find something just want you to pay for the lodging, food, and airfare. The lodging in some organizations can be a lot depending on the length you are staying, but just make sure you find an organization in which they have a project you would be interested in and offer you a safe environment. I know I wanted to work with children in a school/orphanage setting and HondurasChildren.org offered that. It takes a lot of research and applying. You do have to apply for the organizations and sometimes interview with them. I interviewed for four or five organizations and HondurasChildren.org just offered more of what I wanted. 

Many people know you as a good-looking actor from shows like "Equus," or as a dancer at Pulse nightclub in Orlando, or walking in the Come Out With Pride parade in your underwear. Do you find people are surprised that you're an altruistic person?

I do not want to be known for dancing at a club or walking in parades in my underwear. I hope I am not defined by that—there is so much more to what I am about than just that. I worked at Pulse for many reasons and made many friends doing so. The people that I’ve met became my friends and I would let them in on who I am as a person and my other interests—whether that be my theatre work or throwing a benefit for an organization. I learned that working in a club can be negative or positive, but you have to make the best of any situation. It is very hard to hear the many negative things about you just because you work at a club, but I would not take any of it back.

What was it like growing up in the church?

I grew up in the church and I remember my parents taking my two sisters and me to church on Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays in both the morning and the evening. My life and choices were watched very closely—my mom was in charge of the children's portion at church and my uncle was the pastor.

Was it difficult when you came out?

When I came out, I was in a church camp and had to get it off my chest. I could not verbally say it so I had to write it on a napkin and show it to my camp counselor. She then showed it to my youth counselor and he wanted me to call my parents and tell them on the phone. My parents and I cried and we came to the conclusion that I would see a Christian counselor when I returned. I went to the counselor for a year when I was a freshman in high school. The main goal in going to this counselor was for him to turn me straight by cutting off all homosexual temptations and thoughts. The things I did in the sessions were bizarre, but I went every week for a year. I kept it a secret from my friends in high school and I still had a girlfriend at the time. After the year, I thought I was cured.

What eventually happened?

Temptation crept back into my life, and my mom found e-mails on the computer that another guy and I had been exchanging. My parents and I met with the leader of the Orlando group, Exodus. I went to the organization for about a year-and-a-half and I remember after every session the counselors would have to walk each guy to his car  to stop us from giving our numbers out to the other guys. Soon after that experience I was accepted into the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York City where I attended for two-and-a-half years. During my time there is when I found who I really was and also found my first boyfriend.

What is the gay life like in Honduras? Are they accepting of it? Did you fear that if you were “outed” it would take away from what you were trying to accomplish?

The gay life where I am living is zero. Being gay in Honduras would be very hard. The only gay club that I know of is a four hour bus ride from me. The gay club is called Olympus and it is located in the most dangerous city in the world, San Pedro Sula. I was there for Halloween when I was here in October. I did out myself to Mrs. Tania, the principal at the school. We were on her porch talking about life one night during my first trip. She kept telling me how sensitive I was, and I kept asking her if that was a good thing or bad thing. She said it was a good thing. I told her and she cried and I cried, but I was relieved. She is like my second mother here. All the gay people I know in Honduras say that being gay is hard. You can't let anyone know you are gay.

You’ve been through a lot in your life so far. What's next in your journey?

I am doing a work visa for a year in Brazil starting in August.  I leave in August and once I land, I have to find a place to live, a place to work, and a whole new group of friends.  I met an amazing woman named Catharine in Honduras who backpacked in Australia and New Zealand and she said that it changed her life.  Just working in random places and traveling the world.  A year ago, I would have laughed at her for doing that, but now, I can see why she did it.  I was more focused on working, getting ahead in life, and concentrating on getting ahead financially not backpacking.  Now, I have learned that life is about living it how you want, not how society or your family wants you to live your life.  You come across people, nature, and surroundings from different countries that inspire you and helps make you a better person.  This is what this trip has done and I am counting down the days till I leave for Brazil.  This is the quote she told me to live by: "I am going away to an unknown country, where I shall have no past and no name and where I shall be born again with a new face and an un-tired heart."

More about Adam Pate:

www.adamsjourneyinlife.com

http://www.facebook.com/?react=AQCxytqShUi8yPC0#!/AdamDPate